11th

this shall be the substantial post. hopefully.
sorry i didn't get around to filming myself today...the day was mostly over before i knew it! after mowing half the lawns, deconstructing a lambs shelter, doing a paper run in the deathly heat (which took ages because nate's of climbing up mountains so me and dan had to do the whole thing :( meh), teaching a guitar lesson and writing half a song, it was pretty much to late to do anything much.
kinda annoying. but it's just the way things work out i guess.
i really should write a big blog seeing as i haven't for ages. sorry to dissapoint you peoples with short ones like this which merely discuss my day rather than the deep insightful posts of old.
all i can say is when we grow up things change. i'm not the person i thought i would be when i was a kid. i always imagined i'd be like the ultimate man: someone commanding and powerfull - i thought i'd at least have some kind of job. :) i'm really quite a different person now. it's funny, i used to consider myself talkative. seriously! i used to think i could talk the hind leg off a donkey! i just wouldn't stop chattering. now its the opposite. i'm quiet, shy almost. and i never know how to join a conversation.
it's funny how things change.
visiting the old boys rally i used to go to reminded me of that.
we grow older. and we change. we're different now from who we used to be.
and maybe its better that way.
maybe i'm proud of who i am.
not who i wanted to be.
who
i
am.

..

it's a different me from the one envisioned. sometimes i don't like it. in fact some days i wonder if i even fit in my own skin. but like it or lump it, i am me. the thinker. the dreamer. the guy who wants to win all the time. sometimes he does. more often he doesn't. the guy who wants to be in the center of it all, yet purposefully pushes himself to the outside. the guy who writes. the guy who tries to make as much music as possible in a short life, even if it all sounds repetitive. the guy who wonders about his own funeral. the guy thinks to much. the guy who's often self-absorved.
the guy who believes in a big God.
the guy who's just trying to be heard.
what i'm getting at is be happy with who YOU are. sure we change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. but it's just a part of live. and it doesn't stop us living. God created you beautiful. you are unique and one of a kind. so stop looking at YOUR problems, YOUR shortcomings, and take a look at the view ourside of yourself. and you'll find yourself in the strangest of places.

not sure if any of that made any sense, but it felt good to write it!
and after that massive tangent (what was i originally talking about?) i'll say goodbye and hit the hay.
goodnight world,

Me, Jordan