Worship 3# - In song

Sometimes we feel the need to lift our voices.
This was just a reflection of the glory we see everyday.
Often you hear people talking about miracles, searching for miracles, yet they don't really see that the world we live in IS a miracle. That just plain living is a miracle!
Think of this as you read:
"Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still and consider the wonderous works of God.
Do you know when God disposed them, and caused the light of his cloud to shine?
Do you know the balancings of the clouds, the wonderous works of him which is perfect in knowledge?"
[Job 37: 14-16]

GLORY SURROUNDS ME

The sun's outside, the birds are singing/ My heart lifts as I join their song/ Cause all around me/ I see your glory/ It's everywhere

I can't run, I can't hide/ I can't escape your light/ I can't run, I can't hide/ You're everywhere

And I will lift you high/ I'll sing you praise from mountain tops/ And everywhere, how can I not/ Give you the glory, give you the praise/ Give you the honour, O Name above names/ When all else fails, you stay the same

It's cold outside, the birds are silent/ My heart sighs as I search for a song/ Yet all around me/ I see your glory/ It's everywhere

Your glory, Your glory, Your glory surrounds me/ Glory surrounds me

Worship 2# - Silence

Sometimes we try to hard.
We want to get closer to God but we don't really know how.We wait and wait and wait and wait for an answer, but nothing seems forthcoming. This is the hardest season to worship in.

Yet God is there in the silence.

Sometimes we don't try hard enough.

We get distracted in our busy lifes. In our social networking sites. In our attempts to make all the words rhyme even though sometimes it still doesn't come out right. And even though we're busy, it can't fill up the hole left inside of our hearts. This is the hardest season to worship in.

Yet God is there in the silence.

Sometimes we want answers.

Life has so many questions, and sometimes it all gets to much. Why did this happen to me? Why is the world so wrong? Why must we tear each other apart? Where is love in a hating world? Does it even exist? Do you even exist? Sometimes it seems like none of our questions will ever be answered. This is the hardest season to worship in.

Yet God is there in the silence.

Sometimes we are broken.

Bruised and torn after the storm, we need an escape, a refuge. Some place to call home. Yet it feels like all our questions are left unanswered, and all our pain left unexplained. Sometimes it feels like the entire universe doesn't make sense. And nothing seems to offer you any hope or even an answer.

Yet God is there in the silence.

"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:21-23

Worship - Answers please?

Yesterday my thoughts were: "What if our prayers were in our lives, not just in our words?"
What do you think worship is?

AN ANSWERING

Hold on dear. You can't hold back the tears. These are the words you need to hear. This is an answer to a prayer.

He will be there, when you need him to be there.

Another mile south. There's only one way out. You want to take it now. Yet you have all these doubts.

Hold on dear. This is an answer to your prayer

He will be there, when you need him to be there

Amen.

Worship - Reflections

On a completely different note from my last blog, this is going to be my first in a series of posts about worship. All their intentions are is to get whoever's reading this to reflect on God's awesomeness and the grace he has for us, as well as how we should go about praising him. I wouldn't consider myself an authority on this by any means - I am on the same journey, I am just the one writing it, not the one reading it.
Enjoy

So long with so little to do...

Seems like the story of my life.

I start something off only to never complete it. It's happened so many times. The biggest reminder I have of this is a rotting, half-finished catapult hiding behind some bushes at the old house. It stands as a monument - in itself pretty impressive as a structure, but totally not useful to throw things. The discarded siege equipment lies alone, forgotten, and incomplete. It's missing it's throwing box and counterweights. Or something like that. I could never quite figure out what exactly was needed so after a few half-pie attempts at working it out I did what I seem to do best - forgot about it and did something else.

I can't believe we've been going for four years.

It dosn't really feel like it's been that long. Sheesh, sometimes it feels like we're still just little kids jamming on whatever we can find in our sitting room in an attempt to get something to work.

While I never thought this would be what it is today, I've always had this major urge to push it as far as I can get it. Back then, as it is now, it was often a struggle to even get my brothers to come practice. We'd write some cheesy songs, play off a terrible keyboard, have no rythm, no guitars, no P.A, no microphones, and no style. Half an hour later, we'd stop, go back to our lives and not even practice for another week or two.

For the first one and a half years the name "Mayday" was almost ironic because we were so out of our depth that we had practically sunk our plane into the ocean.

But it was FUN! We had no idea, and that was the best part. We thought we were cool, and I thought I could write songs. We reckoned we had it down. And it was fun experimenting with lyrics. Writing about nonsense like "Kiwi on my wall" (no-one remembers that song cos we never played it live). Playing 3 chords on a beat-up acoustic and writing an ENTIRE song around them! (which was also never played live...) Being moved by a Black-Eyed Peas song of all things so coming up with "Under this Sun" which we wrote in less than an hour (ok, we still play that one occassionally).

Now it kind of seems like all the goodness is gone. Like the fun's gone. Like as if by learning how to be proper, decent musicans (well in my case half-decent) we've lost what we had in structures, taking a whole day to write a song, complex guitar riffs, double-kicking metal drumbeats, and all the things you find out about when you're so keen to suceed you want to know all there is to know so you throw yourself into learning. And it's only halfway when you realize that by learning all this stuff it makes it so much harder to find what you had in the first place, even though it may have been just a tiny shred of it.

Originality.

And it's not like it's falling apart. We probably just need another gig or something. We just have our own tastes now, our own likes and dislikes. We just now feel more pressure to write better and better songs instead of just writing them for the hell of it. We feel the need to increase our own musical skills. But in turn this means we play together less. We haven't had a decent practice for weeks.

It just feels old. Stale. Lifeless.

But at the same time, incomplete.

And I don't get it. Why must we build only to watch our sandcastles crumble? Everyone who knows music will be familiar of the dream of being a rockstar. But all I've found out this year is that if you let the dream posses you, then all it does is drain you and get you nowhere. If you throw everything you have into this dream, and it crumbles, then what do you have left?

A few instruments, and three guys who still don't really know what they're doing.

So.

This is my challenge to you, and to me.

Is there stuff you have unfinished? Stuff you hide behind bushes? Things you were once excited for and now find yourself asking "Why am I doing this again?" ? A unfinished project? An unwritten song? A particular blog post? Something you never told someone?

To myself and anyone who reads this: there are two things you can do.

1) Move on past that incomplete work. Sure, it might have been your whole life at one stage. It might have been all that kept you sane. It might have been something you threw your heart into. But that was the past. And this is now. I'm not saying just forget it, cos you can't ever forget the skills and lessons you learnt from that work. It's just that there's something else, something better in store for you. And with that behind you, keep this in mind, and make sure you finish it.

2) It's time for a lovely word! Reinvention. Say it loooong and slooooowwwww and it sounds amazing. Maybe the work, the song, the post, the words need to be finished. Maybe its time to put all else aside, and start new on what you already have. Make it different, and make it better. Keep the heart of it there, but maybe change the focus. Change the words, change the timing, change the mechanism. Make it be a completely different product from the thing you started off with. And then, when you let it go, you let it out, you'll be so incredibly glad you stuck at it.

You, the reader, and I, the writer, have this choice.

To complete, or to move on.

Jordan

[Note to all: I hope this post inspires you to act, and is not just one of my deep musings, but something which you can all relate to, not just read. At the very least, I hope you are motivated enough to comment and tell me about your unfinished business. Discussion can be a great way to bring things out. That is why I write - sometimes I am just talking to myself.]

Ps. If anyone knows of a good catapult builder, please direct me to them at once :D

The speech I should have done at the Leavers Dinner..

(Even though there's only one or two people from my school who are actually cool enough to have a blog [and none of them are in my year anyway!], I'm just doing this cause I feel like it...and just in case you wanted to know how the last year of high school was for me! It'll happen to you one day, that is if it hasn't happened already!)

I started high school last year, and coming from a homeschooling family, it was a massive change for me. Everything was so big, and everyone was so scary! To be honest, I never really enjoyed school at all that year. I'd wake up and think "Why on earth did I decide to go to school? I hate that place so much!" I'm one of those naturally quiet guys, and I only knew one person in my year, and even then I didn't know them all that well. Still, somehow I managed to get through that year, hanging around with my brother and his mates, or just walking around hoping that someone would say hi and at least the loneliness would go away for a time while I said hi back. Not that anyone was unfriendly or anything: just that I suck at making friends and am not naturally outgoing or anything.
There was a few things I really enjoyed about 2010 though. One was hanging out with a group of Year 10s (11s now!) who I knew from Youth Group. They always made me feel welcome, said hi, and seemed to like listening to my attempts at playing guitar. :D It wasn't much or anything, but it made everything more bearable, knowing I could go there and be accepted.
The second thing was my tutor buddies! All the guys at M2 - you know who you are! - really helped me get through both years! At first I hated tutor but then I got a bit more confident and started talking more, and then found myself really enjoying it. Had some of the best chats of my life in there!
The third thing was my marks - it was awesome to be recognized for my work, as you didn't get much of that homeschooling. I found out I was much better at some subjects than I ever thought was possible! I think the comment someone said to me sums it up best "I didn't know homeschooling students were so smart!"
The last thing was the last day in 2010. I finally gathered enough courage to talk to a few people in my year group (even then I had to be invited to!) and then was the time when I started to think "Hmm, maybe they aren't so bad a bunch!"
Anyway, that was 2010. Because (in general) I had such a bad school year socially I decided right at the start of 2011 that this was the year everything was gonna change. I promised myself that I'd make some friends, and have the best year ever!
The school year started off with our Year 13 Leadership Camp. It was pretty epic, even though I was still a bit shy. I guess this was the first opportunity I got to really hang out with my year group. I was pushed outside my comfort zone a bit, but it was good.
After that, we got into some actual work. Found myself loving classes even more this year - especially my classics class, even if it was a small group, we had some good times in there! The work was harder, but with a bit of push and shove I managed to get into it. I also joined the First 11 soccer team and entered interhouse events which made up for some pretty great experiences too.
Anyway, I continued with my promise to make some friends, even managing to start discussions with some new people. Hanging out with everyone in the common room sort of helped too. I still remember how awesome that common room was at the start of term - a whole room to ourselves, with couches, promise of a pool table, and a makeshift ping pong table, where a TON of games were played - especially by Brandon!
So everything was going great! Life was all good, and I had found a couple of friends. Then everything started going downhill.
I won't go into details, but sufficent to say that there was a ton of problems happening in my life, and the fallout from this as well as the work load made me go a little bit stir-crazy for about two months in the middle of '11. Through this time, going to school was such a relief. All my friends, without even knowing it, really helped me through just by being there to talk to about random stuff (good distraction!) and just treating me like a normal person even though I felt like I was going insane under the pressure! So I'm really thankful for that.
After I emerged from that, through the grace of God, I found the year was coming to an end, and I really needed to decide what to do next year. Thankfully I had some amazing people including one of my teachers in 2010 help sort stuff out for me, and I managed to make this life-changing decision without to much trouble, even though it did take me forever to decide on my future career! But hey, its an important decision!
By this time, I'd totally forgot about the promise I'd made, until one day when I looked around and realized that I was friends with so many people! Even some people I never even thought I'd ever talk to! It was amazing to see how far I'd come.
The last term for me was so intense, trying to get everything done, but also spend time with my mates. A lot had changed by then, people had came and gone, the common room was not as cool anymore (in fact dead boring at lunch after the ping pong and couches got taken away!) but I found that overall it had been a great year. Sure there was "groups" as always, but still everyone was on good terms and once you got to know people you found that the "exclusitivity" wasn't actually all it seemed.
Last night was our leavers dinner and it was amazing! Such a defining moment in my life, and most probably for everyone else in the room too! Afterwards I went to a party, which, despite the usual shenanigans was actually really awesome! Had some good talks with people, and plenty of laughs. Even failing at driving up Hannah's really steep driveway at the end of the night (though it took me a few goes!) was absolutely hilerious.
Today was my last day at school EVER! I can truly say that I had an amazing year, and was so stoked to meet everyone in my year group, and make some friendships which will last for a long time. I'm really so glad that I decided to come to high school, cos despite the rocky start it was totally worth it! Huge thanks go to my family for supporting me and sending me to school in the first place! It's true to say I wouldn't, and couldn't have made it this far without you!
Also thanks to the friends who've been there for me since I started - Grace, for being the one person I knew in my year and really going to great lengths to help me fit in, Tommy, for being an awesome mate right from Day 1, and talking to me in tutor, and Brandon, for the competition at English (which I won at!) and ping pong/soccer (which you wasted me in!) and for all the random discussions we had. I can't go without saying thanks to the awesome mates I made this year - Courtney, who was my main competition in classics, and I always had epic as chats to, Sam, for being a good friend, Bongo, Lewis and Josh for just being good guys to hang out with, and Paul for being a great role model and McDonald House's best prefect ever!
So finally, thanks to my family, my mates, my teachers, and anyone who was awesome enough to believe in me, cos sometimes thats all you need. I can honestly say I'm going to miss it - and all of you - now that it's gone. Thank you all for a great year.

That's the speech I should have said last night.

Jordan

Ps So many people helped make school that much better for me that it would take me all night if I was to list them all! You know who you are - thanks for making it awesome, and sorry I can't mention you all.

Some bad news

We didn't get into Parachute 2012!
Extremely gutted right now.
And totally in need of some support.
So if you're reading this please leave a comment and say what you like about this band. Or just say anything really. Cos we need it.

Jordan

Mo-vember

:D

Need I say more?

Jordan