Stone Cold Sober

This song was inspired by The Kinks, The National, The Smiths, and the following verses:

"For how will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?
 Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"
- Mark 8:36-37

"For they that sleep sleep in the night, and they that are drunk are drunken in the night.
 But let us, who are of the day, be sober."
- 1 Thessalonians 5:5-8

STONE COLD SOBER

My hands are stained with ink
From all the words I've written down for her
To hear, it isn't fair
The world don't care for men like me

I took my pen and the poison
Walked the streets of her strange town
To realize it's the same, just rearranged
The world is changing
But not for men like me

I never believed in love or luck
I guess that's why the hinges come unstuck

It's like I'm drunk while she's stone cold sober
She sees the world for what it is and I'm just seeing posters

My spirits don't lift as much as the bottle in my hands
I understand it makes the plans for men like me

I took my sadness to the bar, not her.
To find the whiskey tastes like escape,
The colors fade
The world's not waiting for men like me

It's like I'm drunk while she's stone cold sober
She sees the world for what it is and I'm just seeing posters
I've been left behind more times than I could care
I don't hold anything dear

Let's bring back rock and roll
I'll drink to that, though it won't make it so
Music, girls and alcohol won't make me whole
Can't save my soul

It's like I'm drunk while she's stone cold sober
She sees the world for what it is and I'm just seeing posters
I've been left behind more times than I could care
I don't hold anything dear but you

(c) copyright Jordan Gowan/ The Falling Movement Music 2013

To Long, My Dear Friends....

Man it's been AGES since I've blogged!

I guess it's been to long, as I've had all these pretty cool ideas for posts floating up in the interesting space of my brain. Which is dumb since I've been really, really busy lately. And for once that's not to much of an overstatement: I had 3 assignments due last week and a last-minute scramble to finish an online test yesterday which resulted in ANOTHER late night for me (though to be honest that was mostly from all the pranking being done in the flat haha). Oh how I've missed the joys of university.

So that kind of explains the reason why I've been absent from here in the last few weeks. Why there hasn't been anything circulating on your favourite blog (or what will hopefully soon become your favourite blog!).

Shameless self-promotion over, there's actually a few things going on here which I have in the making which are really cool! I'm getting pretty excited about the fact that it's almost the holidays cause it means I'll FINALLY have some extra time to write up some of this stuff. There's a couple of sweet articles-in-the-making I'm planning on music, a running series I'm planning on faith, a few interesting commentaries, and hopefully I'll even get round to posting some more music on my Youtube account.

So yeah this is basically a real quick post in my half hour of freedom to say that I'm still alive and kicking, and to hang around because there's going to be some sweet writing on here anytime soon!

Catch you on the flipside,

Jordan

Working Man

Originally the title of a rather annoying song by Newworldson (who happen to have one of the most annoying band names out), the title has been redeemed and superbly so by Imagine Dragons. This would have to be one of my favorite songs out at the moment! This band is just too darn good!

My life was pretty much complete when I discovered that to my surprise Imagine Dragons had released a lot more songs on their extended editions of Night Visions than the standard 11-track album I had. Even though for an 11-track the percentage of awesome music on there is incredibly high! So it was to Youtube for me where I spent the next hour and a half in complete contentment. Then I remembered I had 3 assignments to write and that brought me down to earth pretty quick.

So far this weekend has involved me working pretty much to the death on these three stupid essays. Well maybe not that hard. Actually more like not hard enough. But the amount of effort I've gone into reading up, thinking and worrying about them has been almost equal or probably more so than the amount of actual writing I've done. So all up I feel like I've invested a lot of time into them.

And not going to lie, it's been wearing me down.

It's not that I can't write, it's just that at the moment I lack the motivation to. Every step I take I keep asking myself the same old question. Why am I doing this again?! Do I really want another three years of study? Do I even want to be a journalist? Heck I'm not even sure if I'll get a job out of this!

I guess the best thing to do in times like this is what I've always done: Keep at it. Just try your best and rely on your determination to see you through. Which I am capable in every single way of doing. It's just that it's getting me down. All this self-doubt, this uncertainty. This constant worry that was not what I expected of this year. That maybe I'm doing something wrong.

Yet everything's worked out for me to be here.
And I can't help but think that this is where I'm meant to be.
I'm just not sure what for, that's all.

This is my heart, it's on the line.

Qualified!

It's official now!

I actually have a Certificate qualification to my name, proof of my completed studies in music.

This is a good day....

Not going to lie, I'm pretty stoked with my achievement. Even though it was only a year, it was a year filled with blood, sweat and tears. Nights where I'd lock myself in my room, and practice and practice my chops. Day after day where I'd cart my not-so-light guitar down the road for the twenty-odd minutes it took to walk to UCOL. Hours spent trawling Youtube and the internet, listening to music that I'd never heard before and googling random facts about bands.

That was the year where I discovered the heaviness of As I Lay Dying, Animals As Leaders and Depths. Where I listened to reggae for the first time and found magic hidden in the simplistic chords and chilled-out beats of The Black Seeds and Bob Marley. The year where my ears, and my fingers finally adjusted to blues and the incredible solos of greats such as BB King, Eric Clapton and Stevie Ray Vaughn. More importantly, it was when I discovered the power and depth to ambient indie music such as Sigur Ros, Bon Iver and (to some extent) Radiohead - all 3 of which would go on to becoming some of my favorite bands.

All of these in their own ways went to helping me really develop in songwriting in huge steps and bounds. From the backwards structure of my rock & roll riff we based our 50's style "Take My Baby Home" to the bluesy twang of a slide which I utilized for my "slow solo" in "Lonely Baby Blues".  Then there was the backbeat strum and entire bridge section I added to our punk rock kiwi original "Running To The Sun" (probably one of my favourite songs to write/play EVER), as well as the little instrumental flourishes I added to give depth and texture to "The Hospital" and "Nothing Stays The Same". Finally there was two of my proudest moments with "We Are Still One" and "Prodigal". Despite never having written (or played for that matter!) reggae or country I somehow managed to write full songs in both genres which actually played off pretty well. In terms of music and songwriting, it was a year well spent.

But perhaps almost equally in terms with musical achievement was the fact that it was one of the best years of my life. I was hanging out with a bunch of super cool people, doing what I loved best (playing music, duh!) and just generally having a good time! It really was awesome in hindsight being surrounded by people who were equally as passionate about music as me - we all got on really well (most of the time) and had quite a few laughs along the way. I made a couple of really, really good friends from my time there, and it was super awesome to catch up & graduate with a few of them today.

In a weird kind of way, I guess I slightly miss it. Playing music every second or third week was actually AWESOME! Not only did I get more comfortable with playing & performing, found out I could branch out a bit more (first year playing anything other than a guitar!), and made a lot of musical friends/contacts but I realised something really important. That this is what I loved doing more than anything in the world. And that no matter the circumstances, it is really important to follow your dreams and do what you love - not what you're good at, not what others tell you to do, not what seems the safest option. No - DO what you LOVE! Even if it's something as obscure and hard to succeed in as music! JUST DO IT! You'll find it drives you in a way that few other things can.

And I think one of the saddest things in the world is when people never get to do this. Some people never get the opportunity - and that's heartbreaking enough. Yet even worse is when you have the chance, but never take it. Or by the time you decide to it's almost too late and you're left wishing you'd gone for it years ago.

So on the eve of my graduation, I offer you this advice. I'm no world-weary musician - in many ways, I still feel like I'm beginning. I don't know it all, but I've been a few places and seen a few things, so don't completely disregard what I say just cos of my upbringing, beliefs, age or writing. This is legit good advice which I believe if applied can change your life in ways you won't believe.

Quite simply put, it falls into that cliched statement: Follow your dreams. Even if they're big. Even if people laugh at you for having them. Even if secretly you think you suck. I've been there, I've felt all these things. But screw what people tell you. If you have a dream, it's worth chasing, it's worth fighting for. And don't ever forget it!!





One (now qualified!) musician, out.

Jords

Names

Rachel.
John.
Hannah.
Matt.
Beka.
Jesus.
Stephen.
Sarah.
Clive.
David.
Bono.

Eleven names. Eleven people. Eleven different viewpoints on life. Some of them I have met. Some of them I know intimately. Others not so well. Some have sadly left this earth. Others are just beginning their journey. Yet this list of people - my friends, my influences, my inspirations, and right there in the middle, my all - could very well mean absolutely nothing to you.

Chances are you're reading this after you just clicked a link which lead you to this page. The first thing you saw (after the rather large title & photograph) was a picture of a signature and then a list of names. All of which (saving the all-important middle one and the well-known end one) you probably didn't recognize. They were just names.
Just names.

But...

To me, these names have faces. They have writings, songs, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, ideals and dreams much more than any odd combination of letters would have. A name is something we give or we receive. And like it or not, it marks us for life. It defines us in a sense, so that people can say our name and then list our achievements. Or possibly our shortcomings. It is the sole title given to any work that we alone produce. We own that. And our name owns us.
So then a name is a lot more than just "a name".

I've been thinking about names a lot lately. Mostly because I'm terrible with them. Yeah sure, I can spout off a list of them like the above one as quick as a wink (although I did have to Google CS Lewis' first name). But those are people I know: either who's writings and work I've followed or someone who I've held a decent conversation with. Or in the case of Jesus far more than all that. But when it comes to remembering names of people I don't routinely talk to or read of, I'm pretty hopeless. In a tutorial I had at Massey in the last week we had to introduce ourselves to the rest of our classmates, however I found that within the space of about five minutes I'd forgotten everyone's name. Then there was the even more embarrassing situation when I was talking to a girl from Lifegroup at church and had to refer to as "this girl" because her name had completely slipped my mind. I don't know what it was, but for some reason names seemed to stick in my memory a lot less than faces and situations.


This week I have been challenged to take people a lot more seriously than I do.
A lot of the time for me it's just small talk and recognition and then I consider I "know" a person. And yet sometimes I can't even remember a simple thing such as their name! Have things really got that bad that I consider a friend to be just someone I know, when really it ought to be far more than just that?

Thanks to various people speaking into my life in different ways I realize that if I ever want to be fully real with people and with myself, I need to be intentional about things. I need to be intentional about my writings, my music, my everyday conversations. Sometimes we just say things for the sake of saying things. I've experienced enough of that lifestyle to know that in the end it is about as meaningless and empty as your going to get.

In a world full of different people with different stories, different hopes, dreams and fears there is so much that could be said. And it seems like such a awful waste to have all this time on the planet, all these words at our disposal and to not be doing anything with them! You never know what a person is going through and what something you might say could mean to them. Words are a lot more powerful than we give them credit, and music is almost more so (kind of what I was hinting at when I wrote the line "Why can't the songs tell our stories...?"). So what are we doing with them?

I know what I want to be doing.
Letting people know that they mean much more to me than I sometimes let on. Whether that's in a blog list, or in some other way I want to take time to say thanks.
Then I want to do make an effort to be intentional about things. About my relationships with people and with God. It's not going to be the easiest thing to do - there are going to be times when I slip up and find myself back in the uncaring stage. But I mean this when I say I firmly believe it is something worth doing.
To start conversations which go a lot further than small talk. To really pray from my heart rather than just my head. Maybe tell friends things I haven't before. Maybe open up a bit and leave space for people to do the same. To start stepping up to the mark in life and in faith instead of letting myself slip behind.

Or even to just remember a name...

Sincerely (for once),

Jordan Andrew Gowan.
Jaguar Falls.
Jord, Jaws, J-dog.

And in everything, Christ's.