Well I made it...

...through the first week, but I'm not sure how successful it is.
At least I haven't got lost.
Even though I keep forgetting about tutor group (which is a waste of time in my opinion...)
My brothers doing fine. He's got lots of friends in his year, and is just hanging round with them and having fun...
Me on the other hand..
It's not that I'm necessarily "shy" (I hate that label people slap on you :(...), it's just that I'm more of a reserved kind of person. I take a while to find my feet. And it seems that everyone in my year knows each other really well and I'm a bit on the outside. I know a few of them but I wouldn't really classify any of them as friends, or even good mates. And I suck at making new friends.
In fact I'm beginning to wonder if I have any social skills at all.
My teachers are quite nice though. Been learning about maths formulas haha. And had an intresting debate on evoloution the other day with my bio teacher.
One of the more annoying things is something called homework....
The other annoying thing is between school and Les Mis on the weekends I feel like I don't really have a life. Or at least not much of one aye. :(
Anyway thanks everyone for commenting on my previous post it was really encouraging. Made me cry actually! =O No seriously it was really really nice. Wish school just existed of people like you guys.
Not that I don't have friends there, it's just that it's a very reserved situation. I spend most of my time in classes in my year, and when I do get out of it, I kinda don't know what to do. It's just so big, and there's so many people!
Then again I am really truly thankful to everyone today who said I could hang out with them. I know none of them read this blog probably but it was pretty much a lifesaver. :)
Another annoying thing is the Music classes (which I thought would be my mini sanctuary!) aren't quite living up to my expectations. This is cos everyone's in the middle of doing these performance things to get credits which is what I really should have expected it to be. But it wasn't. For some reason I thought we'd sit around learning instruments or something. :(
So yeah. If anyone asks how school is going (which so many people have!) the answer is "It's going alright." I'm not falling to pieces at the end of every day, I'm not struggling too much with the workload, I do have a couple of friends even if they aren't at my year level. No one's tried to beat me up or bully me so far, and no one has been particularly nasty. But on the other hand, things aren't fantastic: I barely talk to anyone, I feel way to lonely, and I can't even play the guitar at music class.
I know it's not going to always be this way. Sometime something will come to a head. And at least I'm trying. That's all anyone can ask of me.
Thanks for reading.

Jordan

Well I

Well

Rockquest pictures

What a night!! Here's some live pics taken by this awesome person called Beka.

Great fun !!

Nate

there's a lot of things on my mind.

whoah, whoah everything i said is over
whoah, whoah, i can't take this any longer
whoah, whoah, i need to get out of this zone
whoah, whoah, hope you see where i'm coming from.
- Comfort Zone by Everyday Sunday

this song really stuck in my mind when i thought of the whole situation i find myself in. as you may have noticed, last blog i wrote i said something big could be happening to me. (not counting rockquest haha!) and it did happen.
i am going to school.


now for most people out there they'd just be like "ok, whatever..." but it's really a big deal for me. last time i went to school was for about two months when i was 6. haven't been since. homeschooled practically my whole life, and then in one week, my whole comfortable little life gets shattered into a gazillion pieces.
now i'm not after sympathy here (though it would have been nice on Wednesday!). i am at the state where i feel like if i don't stop moving, i'm going to absolutely break apart. pull myself to pieces because i am just so darn SCARED out of my wits.
the funny thing about all this is that recently i haven't been very happy with my life. now i'm not trying to get all emo on you. i have the best family anyone could ever want, friends who are real cool, and a sweet band who i love playing with. :) it's just it felt kinda boring. like i needed a challenge. like i needed something to wake me up.
one of the worst problems i have is talking a subject to death and never getting onto it. like change. which is something i'm all for. but i've never done much about.
and now the change, the challenge, the doing of hard things, has actually came, i'm scared witless!
the problem with comfort zone is it takes effort to get out of it. it is so much easier to sit back and relax. but is that the way to live life? stuck on your nice comfy zone while the world is hurting? Christains aren't called to an easy life. Christ didn't say "blessed are you when life is easy and you can watch tv all day" (not that i've ever done that haha.) instead Jesus said "blessed are you when men shall persecute you... "blessed are the poor in spirit..." "blessed are the peacemakers..." "blessed are the meek..."
does any of those things sound even slightly easy to handle, or to do????!!
there is a difference between a good life, and a comfortable one.
and i want to live the first one.
even if it means doing probably the last thing i want to.
it's not going to be easy.
but i know that God will be with me, no matter what.
even when i can't hear him. even when i am to busy to listen. even when i won't listen.
it's so hard to see God in this situation. i haven't been looking very hard though. all my energy has been concentrated on keeping myself together. because i'm afraid if i fall apart i won't get it together again.
i know comments on this blog are very rare. but on the slight chance someone reads this before tomorrow, and you feel God wants you to say something to me, please, please share it. i may not like it but really just recieving anything would be such a huge blessing.
"for in all these things we are more than conquerers."

Blessings in Christ,

Jordan

Rockquest!!!

Yesterday night was awesome!!!! awesome gig with a crowd of 170+
We went onstage at 8pm for 7 minutes. sooooo much fuun!! we hammered out our songs and went really hard.
Results: my neck hurts!!!!
So yea, lastnight was full on. Unfortuntly we didnt get anywhere further, but it was very nice to get back into gigs again.
Also, our lead singer and keyboardest Daniel won an award for the best lyrics in the song, "More Than Just Dreaming," good good good!!!(:
Thanks to everyone who came along and you can be expecting some new live pics soon :)
nate

stuf!!!!!!!

...so we're hitting the side studio this friday.! and then the stomach on august the 3rd. really keen!!!!!!!!
also rockquest this sat. come along if you can!! small fee, and it ill be well worth it. we've got our set sorted, and yea.
also, me and jordan are now enrolled in High School. ots of stuff happening :D pretty excited(: and yea!!
nate

I am

so looking forward to hitting the studio!!!!

I am

so looking forward to hitting the studio!!!!

Life...

what is the meaning of life?

what is the meaning of life?

what is the meaning of life?

and where do i fit in?

~ The Meaning of Life, All Left Out

well i've just figured out garlics and rasins arn't the best food combination in the world.

no, i didn't actually eat them together, i just cut up some garlic and then i was hungry so i got some rasins out of the cupboard and ate them. that's how i came to this rather obvious conclusion.

anyway.....

life's really getting weirder at the moment.

all i can say right now is our family may be doing something which would completely turn my life upside down. it could be in a good way though. but either way, i've been kinda stressing about it.... and about life in general. i mean i'm still young, but getting near the end of my schooling, currently mostly unemployed, and i have no idea what on earth i want to do with my life. i mean i have several passions: stuff i love doing, but i can't see any scenario where i'll be likely to earn a living on them. i don't really know what to do with myself.

i'm almost begining to wonder if life has any direction at all. is there any clear cut path for me out there or is it a road filled with corners, hairpin bends, and no maps? i want my life to have direction, to have purpose. i want to mean something in a world full of meaningless. most of all i have a terrible inclination to be remembered. for making an incredible discovery, for writing an amazing book, singing an amazing song - something. one of my worst fears is getting to the end of my life (something i think about WAY to much) and saying to myself, "Man I wish I had done this, or I wish I had done that..."

anyway, back to direction. i always worry how can i do something worthwhile if i still don't know where to go right now?

whenever i start worrying about this kind of thing, it always takes me back to about a year ago, when we were out at our youth groups Holy Spirit Weekend. After a night of awesome prayer and moving in the Holy Spirit, the next day the leaders gave all of us these mini-devotionals with bible verses. i went outside in the beautiful sunshine, out on the deck where i could see the waves crashing on the beach, and read through this devotional. it was on Matthew 6: 25-26: Therefore I say I unto you, take no thought for your life, what you should eat, or what you should drink; nor for your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than meat, and the body more than clothes? Behold the birds of the air: they don't sow or reap, or gather into barns, but your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you much better than they? (KJV paraphrased by me.)

at the time this was a real Godsend. i had been worrying about exactly the same stuff which i've talked about in this blog. and this was like a bolt from the blue. a word from God. and he said, don't worry about it, give it to me. this was reinforced by the verse near the end of that chapter: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and it's righteousness; and all these things shall be added onto you (Matthew 6:33)

i was literally blown away. and every time now i feel myself slipping into that old familar worry, i just think back to that day, and remember that God's got it all sorted, even if i have no clue. we humans are power freaks. we want to know what we're doing, when we're doing it, and why. we want to control our own destinies in a not-yet-logical world.

so the conclusion. the direction is wherever God's going.

it may look all over the place.

i may have no idea about my future. but it's not cos i'm vague and will be a hopeless case who lives on the dole my whole life. (well, hopefully not anyway...)

i want to be seeking this kingdom. because despite all my brilliant plans for the future, despite wanting to be remembered for something amazing, the thing i most want to be said of me at my funeral is " Jordan Andrew ------ was a true man of God."

i don't really care if anyone reads this, but it's just been so great to get this out there, and i guess you probably know a whole lot more about me now.

oh and PS shoutout to Tanner! as most of this post (apart from the rasin part lol!) was inspired by his epic blog. check it out! http://tannerpemelton.blogspot.com/

peace guys,

Jordan

:)

great song by tobymac. very encouraging!!! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q_-9FyIxQE

tennis elbow

....will not convert to my mp3. stupid stupid computer! argh i dislike it.
man we've just had the meanest three days! they ruled. i am loving the beach. driftwood huts, sandcastles, running away from the high tide, the piles of seaweed (ugh!), the stars in the sky, rocks, sand.... etc, etc. i could go on all night but i can't. because i have a time limit. blimey i need to blog earlier. hasta la vista everyone!

Jordan

i like

...blogging
...and this: http://www.smokefreerockquest.co.nz/region/page/wairarapa

....

todays been pretty random so far.....
really wanting this parachute application done.
2 weeks till rockquest!! :D :)
oh and we're going on a holiday this week. gonna be awesome!!! :)
nathan

Update..

Whoo! My first post for the month! (pretty pathetic actually seeing as it's like the 6th already..but yeah, better late than never!)

There's gonna be a couple of changes around here, so I'll make known a few...

First of all the Stomach recording is being pushed back to the 3rd of August, which is actually handy cos it helps us to get Rockquest over with. Speaking of Rockquest, we've been practicing pretty hardout for that - one of the songs we (may) be doing we played like about 4 times today! Pretty hundi or what???!!!

Secondly our awesome sister Beka took us out on a photoshoot the other day and took some of the best pics of us you can possibly imagine. So we'll be posting them up soon... but here's a few now to whet your appetite!

Speaking of photos, tommorrow we're going on a roadtrip to the beach which I'm so looking forward to! It's gonna be AWESOME! This'll be our third roadtrip to the same beach and if the other ones are to go by, it should be really, really funny, we'll all get suger high, take some mean photos and have a swell time. Haha I sound like an American... :D

Um finally the process of applying for Parachute is finally underway. So hope that all goes good.

Oh yeah, and it's Nate(drums, percussion, keyboard player)'s birthday in two days! Sweet!

Goodnight world,

Jordan

upcoming...

$405!!!!
almost at the mark.. and mum and dad have offered to put the rest of the money in, as the petition for the stomach failed.
so we have booked it for three days starting from the 28th of this month!!!
and we are also preparing for our gig at smokefree rockquest in Masterton on the 24th. come see us it you can!! your support would be much appreciated.
very excited about these things...
nate