For two minutes, I almost caught myself with nothing to do.
It feels like the first time in decades I've kicked back. Well kicked back is a pretty relative term. But it was time enough to play guitar for more than 50 minutes and not almost fall asleep over the fretboard. Time enough to grab some lunch and enjoy the shade and read the news over the internet without having something else to rush off to. Time enough to wind up here.
I'm technically supposed to be on "holiday". Doesn't work so well when you have a car to save up for and some killer rent to pay, so it's back to the old summer job.
Which is actually good in a way. For some reason, I can't stand to be sitting still. I don't know what's driving me on sometimes, but a lot of the time I almost wish it would stop. Forward motion gets pretty tiring - but there's always something to do. Always the next job, project or event, one after the other. Round and round and round.
It feels weird saying this, but for once I almost just want to do nothing.
Not out of sheer laziness. You can be busy as anything and still be the most lazy person in the world (totally me haha). Sounds like a paradox, but it's true. There's a massive, massive difference between relaxing and being lazy, in that the first is needed while the second is just you being useless with your time.
So far I've finished semester. Said goodbye to some friends, and not to others. Started work. Drove golf carts. Did to much biking. Moved house. Got some flatmates. Set up a completely new plant nursery in just over a week. Finished Lifegroup and CY. Recorded half a song for someone else. Got my results back (around about an A- average). Went to Hastings and back again. Saw (most) of the family. Volunteered at an event. Grew (well, growing) a beard. Ran 5+ km back home from work yesterday.
It's been a month and a half of bursting at the seams. Every day, all you have to do is just keep going. It's all you really can do.
I guess it just makes you appreciate the quieter moments just that much more. Gotta have those highs and lows, otherwise both life and music would get boring pretty quickly!
For two minutes, I almost caught myself with nothing to do. But then I decided to write a blog...
