This is just therapy

All I want to do is write.

And pray. And write some more.

Then sleep until I needed to wake up. I am so incredibly shattered right now, both mentally and physically. Yet I doubt even when I do make it to bed I'll be able to sleep. There's just too much going on and I can't even figure it out in my head yet alone type it up on the page.

It's times like this when I realize I have a different use for writing. Some would call it escapism, I prefer the term therapy. It's not that ignoring things will make a difference. It's just sometimes all I feel like doing is retreating from the world with a pen and paper, and maybe my guitar, and just writing the feelings out of my soul. Because it seems that's the only way to get them out. Notes, lines, ink stains, keys under my fingers. This is where I feel at home, this is where I find my voice. This is where words which my mouth can't form come out. Here is where songs I can't sing can be sung. Often the moments I am most honest are when I write. Because although paper can lie there's something so freeing about telling the truth when you don't have to.

I could be posting about anything at the moment. So much stuff has happened in the past week and a half which I'm still working around. I could talk about Uni. About finally finishing that song. I could talk about my band's upcoming gig. I could (and most probably will) talk about the loss my family had on Sunday. Or about how I don't often say it much but that they mean so much to me. I could talk about how I miss my lifegroup. I could talk theology and my struggle to find God's plan in the everyday. Or how even though I know he's holding me up I still want more, waiting for some magic bullet which will somehow fix everything.

Yet with all that stuff all I can find the strength to get through is how much I needed to write this. Write down that I'm broken but I'm not letting go. Write down this:
Falling is a movement, so is writing. Yet more so than both of these is life. Life is a movement. Whether it's upwards or downwards or all over the place is up to you. You can be moving alone, or like me, traveling with Someone. However you do it, you must be moving. Life is like music, it's all in the motions or the lack thereof. 

Life:
The
Falling
Movement. 

So lets keep moving.

Blessings,

Jordan