Will the stories ever end?

The other day I was busking and this guy walked past.
I can't even remember what he looked like. When you're playing on the side of the street, you really get a good chance to take a good look at the variety of life. But unless it's someone you know, or someone who looks really intresting, you can't really remember everyone who walks past you.
This guy didn't do anything in particular. Didn't drop money in my hat, didn't stop and listen (nobody does these days....), didn't do anything out of the ordinary. But as he was walking past, his eyes glanced up from the pavement and met my gaze. I couldn't help but smile.
While it seemed like such a brief connection, and not something most people would even bother remembering, let alone writing down, that brief glance was one of the most insightfull things about that morning's work (the others were when this random biker gave me $10 (!) and when I nearly got evicted by a security guy :] haha.) It really made me wonder. Who was this man? Did he maybe hear something in whatever I was playing? Where'd he come from? Did he like music, or did he not really care? Did he really see me, or was I just another street performer?
There are so many stories out there. Real, made-up, believed, lived.... humans each have a story. I am still amazed by the creativity and skills we have. Truly God created amazingly talented beings.
This blog you're reading now is part of my story.
This is where I download: all my hopes, fears and dreams. All my successes, and my failures. The things which break me down, and the things that build me up. (Also there's a couple of random blogs here and there by my brother :) ... na jj half of the stuff on here is by Nate!) In reading this blog you are getting a window: albeit a pretty small one, into the life of Jordan.
Right at the moment I'll let you into another part of the unfolding drama.
Lately I've been feeling so much like there's something out there for me, but I'm falling vastly short of wherever it is. I've been searching so hard that I've forgot everything else in between. I've been so lost in the looking that I've missed the words between the lines. I've been trying to find a way out of this hopelessness. But hope is found in the most unlikely of places.
I think I've finally got it (whether I remember it remains to be seen!). It's like when you're looking for something in the cupboard, and you look and look, and then you say "Mum! I can't find it!" and she's like "In front of you." and whatever you're looking for is right in front of your face.
I need to just let all this go. All this worry, all this despair, all these doubts, all these fears. Just let them go. Stop asking, and start giving. Stop looking, and start showing others. And maybe, just maybe, I will find the answer right in front of me, and that it had been there all along. I've been pushing squares into round holes, trying to dig myself out of the hole which I excavated. This quiet has been so long. But now it's time to break this silence. But not in the way I've been trying. I'm giving up, giving it all over to God. May he do with me what we want. It seems like such a paradox trying to change the world when I can't even help myself. But God works the best when we give him control.
Just as I realized this, I had the most boringest days EVER! It seems whenever you finally understand the problem, there's always something which comes along and tries to knock the stuffing out of you. It's SO annoying, and it almost got to me today. But I'm not giving up yet.

Just a final word before I go. I know this blog has been such a massive ramble, but it's been so good writing it. I'd call it "blog therapy" :). If you've stayed with me so far, read all this blog then I want to just say thanks. Thanks so much. It's amazing really. I never know what to say when I'm on Facebook, but whenever I blog, I feel like I can literally write for hours! It's such a relief just to be able to come on here and write down all my struggles, to share them with you. Your support is outstanding, to both me and Mayday. Give yourselves a round of applause!

Jordan
Ps. If you wanna say something, please, please comment! I love hearing other peoples stories!