...through the first week, but I'm not sure how successful it is.
At least I haven't got lost.
Even though I keep forgetting about tutor group (which is a waste of time in my opinion...)
My brothers doing fine. He's got lots of friends in his year, and is just hanging round with them and having fun...
Me on the other hand..
It's not that I'm necessarily "shy" (I hate that label people slap on you :(...), it's just that I'm more of a reserved kind of person. I take a while to find my feet. And it seems that everyone in my year knows each other really well and I'm a bit on the outside. I know a few of them but I wouldn't really classify any of them as friends, or even good mates. And I suck at making new friends.
In fact I'm beginning to wonder if I have any social skills at all.
My teachers are quite nice though. Been learning about maths formulas haha. And had an intresting debate on evoloution the other day with my bio teacher.
One of the more annoying things is something called homework....
The other annoying thing is between school and Les Mis on the weekends I feel like I don't really have a life. Or at least not much of one aye. :(
Anyway thanks everyone for commenting on my previous post it was really encouraging. Made me cry actually! =O No seriously it was really really nice. Wish school just existed of people like you guys.
Not that I don't have friends there, it's just that it's a very reserved situation. I spend most of my time in classes in my year, and when I do get out of it, I kinda don't know what to do. It's just so big, and there's so many people!
Then again I am really truly thankful to everyone today who said I could hang out with them. I know none of them read this blog probably but it was pretty much a lifesaver. :)
Another annoying thing is the Music classes (which I thought would be my mini sanctuary!) aren't quite living up to my expectations. This is cos everyone's in the middle of doing these performance things to get credits which is what I really should have expected it to be. But it wasn't. For some reason I thought we'd sit around learning instruments or something. :(
So yeah. If anyone asks how school is going (which so many people have!) the answer is "It's going alright." I'm not falling to pieces at the end of every day, I'm not struggling too much with the workload, I do have a couple of friends even if they aren't at my year level. No one's tried to beat me up or bully me so far, and no one has been particularly nasty. But on the other hand, things aren't fantastic: I barely talk to anyone, I feel way to lonely, and I can't even play the guitar at music class.
I know it's not going to always be this way. Sometime something will come to a head. And at least I'm trying. That's all anyone can ask of me.
Thanks for reading.
Jordan
3 comments:
hey bruv,
i can't really fix it but i just want you to know that i read this and i know how you feel and i'm praying for you! things are going to get better.
xoxo
beka
Hey Jaws, its Bigg J
Now for you one of the most huge changes in your life so far has just happened, High School. so for you life must be going so, so fast, and for my life i have gone through some of the most huge changes of my life so far and my life is so fast i find it hard to catch up. I went from being a rural guy in a small town to the newbie in the huge city of wellington. finding my self attempting to find my wings in the big wide scary world, and it is scary, like im scared all the time. do i ever show it, well... no. The fear of the unknown is one of the greatest peices of motivation i have, it pushes me forward.
Before i left for wellington everyone told me i would be ok and that i would survive, but i had my doubts, but i knew that everyone was supporting me and praying for me. But ultimately it was up to me. I had to have the confidence to get up in the morning, to meet new people, to go grocery shopping (which terrifies me). But at the beginning of my year the confidence that i thought i had was weak and it allowed people to get to me, had had a rough couple of weeks. i soon realised that i was covering something, i dident have confidence in myself as a person, and it was hard to realize. If i wanted to carry on i needed to have trust in myself and the confidence would grow. and now i have it again. i am confident in myself as a person and this has allowed me to be the best i can be.
Now i fell like i have just told you all about my life without actually helping you with yours, but i think it all comes down to confidence. when you find yours Jaws everything will fall into place, god is always with you and he wants to see you succeed just show him you can, cause you can.
I remember my first week of high school... my "friends" ditched me
so i was a loner for the first half of the term... sure I felt hurt, but now that i think back Im greatful. I wouldn't have met my amazing group of friends if that didn't happen. but it was hard to make new friends... because even though it may not seem like it, I am one of the "shyest" people you will ever meet! I just learned to act like I wasn't shy. I got peoples attention and made new friends
now I wouldnt recomend pretending to be someone your not, it may have worked for me, but it hasnt worked so well for anyone else
give it time
people just need to see what an amazing person you are! Let God shine through you... he will make you like a lamp, and then the students will be the moths that are attracted to the light
not saying that they're bugs... but you should get the idea
I'll be praying for you
best of luck
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