This Day, This Month, This Year...

__, __, ____ .

Depending on whereabouts you are reading this (possible locations: USA, New Zealand, Australia, Alaska, UK, the Moon - ok the last one's slightly unlikely...), the above blank date could be month, date, year or date, month, year. Different systems but with the same meaning of course - except that if you're reading this from the USA/ UK you're most probably a day behind my current timezone (and if you're on the moon, I have no idea where you fit into this time equation). So for now just "pretend" it's the 28th and then we'll all be on the same pagelength. Or bloglength. Whatever.

Actually I kinda wish I was a timezone and a half behind, as I'm finding it a little hard to believe that it's the end of February ALREADY.  I know it's a few days below average length of months, but still, it seems to have gone by so fast.

And it's been an interesting 28 days.

For me in particular, February seemed to be filled with frustration, complications and an awful lot of waiting. Waiting for internet. Waiting for work to finish. Waiting for all my friends to move back to Palmerston so I could finally do something interesting. Waiting for that one song to hit my ears, to hit my mind. Waiting for that one thing to happen.

It seems the longer I wait, the less likely it is anything happens.

Ok, I'm flourishing the melodramatic statements here. I apologize. Things did happen. People came back. I finished work. Started Uni (again). Yet it seems like an awful lot of time wasted on my part just hanging out for something. I kind of wonder if I'm made to be doing this forever. Or as Matt Theissan so eloquently puts it "I feel like I was born/ For devastation and reform."

I really, really wanted to be able to write a different blog at the end of this month. Maybe post up the lyrics to the next "Let It Be" or some equally brilliant song. Or put something up about the changes I've made, or the bands I've joined, or the music I've written. When really all I have in my head and my hands are sketches. Things half-formed. Ideas which are still stuck in the hanger. Songs half written. Riffs that meander to dead ends. At the end of February, is this the best of me, or the worst?

"DISCONNECTED" (progressed little further than lyrics and rough ideas)

It's been over a week and my knees are still weak/ And my voice has been hurting from all the calls I've made. You sit there in your room while I sit here with the blues/ I've got everything to lose when we stay apart 

We're still so disconnected/ I'm not far from ending it now

It's one hell of a week when I'm on the losing streak/ And my ears are still hurting from all the excuses you've made. You sit there in your room, I sit here with the blues/ We've both got nothing to lose yet we still stay apart

"VALENTINES DAY" (mostly just music, as I pretty much dislike all the words I've written beyond these two lines)

Oh you caught me with empty hands and a restless heart that longs for you

Love will you find me? Love will she blind me?


Even though I've been guilty of doing more than a few, these days I just can't seem to force myself to churn out an average song. I guess this is good cos it means I'm getting more technical and in depth with my music, but in some ways it seems like all the sparkle, the magic and the wonder that makes a song a song is somehow missing. Am I doomed to inherit the space between average and brilliant-yet-unknown?

Bring it on March. Maybe if I'm ready for you, I won't have to wait...